A blog about "nothing"!

Monday, April 18, 2016

Sorry, but no, your screaming/misbehaving child is NOT cute!

Recently a fellow Twitter user posted her frustration involving her wedding and her decision to make it an adults only affair.  Apparently someone invited is all upset because she isn't allowed to take her children to the wedding.  So much so that she's refusing to come.  While the bride is hurt, she is not letting this bullying affect her decision.  Good for her!  As she explained, she is getting married in a place that is not suited for children and as she put it "had to sign my life away" when she booked the place.  She doesn't want children "running around breaking things".  I totally get it.
She isn't alone.  It seems as though every time this subject comes up, there is always someone who falls in the "well, that isn't fair" camp.  Life isn't fair.  Suck it up.  I personally don't understand the need to drag your children everywhere with you, especially to something that A)they are more than likely going to be bored stiff with and drive you bananas and B)won't remember anyhow.  I personally would look forward to having an adults night out for something like that.  Perhaps I should start dragging my dog to things like this and see how people react?  There are plenty of times I've left her at home, even though I know that the place is dog friendly.  While I think she's cute as a button, she has some personality traits that I'm well aware would drive other people nuts.  I'm not about to inflict that on anyone else.
This brings me to my point:  while you think your child is adorable, I hate to tell you this, not everyone else does.  Parents need to realize this.  Many do not.  And they tend to turn a blind eye/ear to a misbehaving child instead of doing something about it.  I've never forgotten a Christmas eve service I went to several years ago.  It was a packed house, and seated near me was a woman with an infant.  Part way through the service, the child started crying, very loudly.  The mother DID NOTHING.  She just let the baby scream, to the point that we couldn't hear the service.  An intelligent and courteous person would have gotten up with said child and left the sanctuary in order to allow the other people there the ability to hear, and perhaps investigate why the child was screaming.  Not her.  The sad fact is that this woman is not alone in her rudeness, I've seen it at so many functions and public places, it's almost epidemic. 
Let me just tell you folks, allowing your child to misbehave is not doing it any favors.  You may be doing more harm than you realize.  I know of someone who let her child do whatever she wanted and made no effort to discipline her.  Several years later I learned of multiple instances where the child was not invited to various things (parties, clubs, etc) because of this.  It wasn't the child's fault, it was the parent's.  Unfortunately because of this child's continued bad behavior and lack of any guidance, she was excluded. 
I grew up as one of 5 children, and we were taught at an early age how to behave in public.  Keyword in that sentence is "taught".  I guess that has all gone out the window!  My parents weren't abusive, but we were told "if you misbehave, you won't get to go again."  I have friends and family who fall on both sides of the fence on this, some have kids who are holy terrors and others have children who can be taken anywhere.  The funny part is that the ones with the well behaved children think their kids are "bad" at times.  They don't know what bad children are!  I'm a firm believer in letting kids be kids, but there is a time and place for that.  Just like you can't yell "fire" in a crowded theater, running around, screaming like a banshee at an event where the majority of the guests are adults is also not appropriate. There is a fine line between cute and annoying.  We as adults need to guide children into what is appropriate behavior.  They don't naturally know this.  Remember, they are kids!! 
To those parents who continue to let your children run around like wild animals at inappropriate times and places, perhaps I should lock you in a room with my dog and let her bark for 15 minutes.  Then you'll get what I'm talking about.  It's not cute, it's not amusing, it's downright annoying.  Be a parent.  And those people who smile and then turn their heads...hate to tell you, but they are just being polite.  Been there, done that.


Sue @ A Colourful Canvas said...

Hear! Hear! Another good read Flo! I well remember a friend making her wedding an adults only affair because of a single child. Unfortunately, the parent brought the child anyways. I screamed a little inside when I witnessed that rudeness. Sadly, my friend's instincts were well founded...the child's behavior was distracting at best and unacceptable at worst.

Flo said...

Thanks Sue! A family member had an adults only wedding and someone did the same thing to them. If only those people knew what the rest of us were thinking, they would have been humiliated. Rude is exactly what it is, and selfish too. This is a day for the bride and groom, their wishes should be respected as chances are they (or their parents) are paying for it. People amaze me.

dan said...

There are parents who think their children are cute also when they misbehave in public. They are firmly convinced that their "little angels" simply can't annoy anyone! All that, sounds really incomprehensible to me ...

Flo said...

I don't understand it either Dan. It's definitely not cute, and I've seen whole restaurants full of people with that uncomfortable "look" due to a misbehaving child whose parents ignore it. Ugh!