A blog about "nothing"!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Just sayin'...

I’ve been debating on posting this for the past week or so…but a recent happening made me decide to go forward with it.  Several months ago I posted about how mean people are and how it needs to stop.  Since that posting, I’ve witnessed even more nastiness and hatred online.  I’m just shocked, appalled, saddened-there aren’t enough adjectives available to express how I feel.  Lately it seems like a lot of it has been aimed at bloggers who are achieving success with their efforts.  I’m thrilled for them on one hand; on the other I’m glad it’s not me. 

The first instance of it that I witnessed happened at Refashionista.  If you aren’t familiar with the blog, Jillian is a thirty something who buys super cheap stuff at thrift stores and turns what started out as a trainwreck in to a fashionable piece.  Some of what she has done is truly amazing; she deserves every single accolade she has received.  She has been so successful at it that she ended up doing a refashion of two items that were recently featured on Good Morning America-awesome!  Yet someone seems gung ho to make Jillian feel like crap about her efforts.  Namely a so-called “plus sized person” who is upset because she thinks that Jillian is encouraging people to go out and buy up all the plus sized clothing available in thrift shops and refashion it so there will be nothing left for those of us who really are plus sized.  Seriously?!?!?!  First off, Jillian picks out mostly stuff from the dollar bins.  If you are familiar with thrift stores, things that are in the dollar bin are there because NO ONE WANTED THEM to begin with.  Never mind the fact that these clothes are donated in the first place.  And that Jillian is maybe a size 6, so when she buys something to refashion, she’s maybe buying a size 12 at the largest-not exactly a plus sized piece of clothing.  And some of the stuff she has bought are items I personally would have relegated to the scrub rag bin, so even as a self-proclaimed queen of thrift store clothing, I wouldn’t want it.  Last but not least, their claim of “never finding anything for plus sized women” at the thrift store is a load of hogwash.  I’m a plus sized gal and I’ve found PLENTY!  I’ve shared a lot of the finds here on the blog, so you know what I’m talking about.  In fact, it’s so bad that I’m currently doing a clean out of my spring/summer stuff as I do laundry so I have some more space.  I really think this person (or persons) has nothing better to do with their time than to piss and moan about something, or perhaps they are jealous of Jillian’s success.  Gag with me with a spoon.  I’m thrilled to death that Jillian is getting the attention she is because she deserves it.  She has taken something that was a fun hobby, shared it with others, and has gotten some really positive attention from it.  Go Jillian!
The next instance happened to Danielle at Blissful andDomestic.  Danielle is a mom/wife first, blogger second.  Her blog was born out of her desire to share money saving tips with others who are trying to stretch their dollar further.  Nothing wrong with that!  She reminds me a lot of Amy Daczyn, author of “The Tightwad Gazette”-those of you who are my age may remember Amy and her newsletter/books made popular in the 80's/90's.  Danielle has a lot of great ideas ranging from menu planning to make it yourself ideas, and she presents it in a very kind, friendly manner.  Best way to describe it (as other have), it’s like reading a conversation with a gal pal.  No, it’s not grammatically perfect at all times, and she is the first to admit it and several times has commented that she welcomes constructive criticism if someone notices a glaring error so she can fix it.  Recently someone went a bit far in my opinion.  There is a difference between constructive criticism and just being mean.  Not only did they nastily criticize her bad grammar (something along the lines of “reading your blog makes me cringe”) they then attacked her about homeschooling her kids and how stupid they were going to turn out because she didn’t have a grasp of the English language.  I was stunned that someone could be so nasty about something like this.  I have issues with bad grammar to a point-but Danielle’s errors weren’t so bad that the blog was unreadable; most of them weren’t even all that noticeable unless you are an English major armed with a red pen.  Then there was a post where she talked about frozen food items she kept in her freezer for emergency situations.  Several people felt it necessary to chastise her for serving these foods to her family and went on and on about how bad they were for you, etc.  I personally don’t like to eat a lot of premade frozen items, but I totally get how a busy mom can periodically find herself backed in to a corner and will use these items once in a while to save some time.  I don’t see an issue with that as long as it’s not a regular thing.  Anyone who reads Danielle’s blog regularly will know that she doesn’t do this often because it’s not only not very healthy, but also not cost efficient.  I just don’t get the need to be so hateful about something just because you don’t agree with it 100%.  No one is holding a gun to your head making you read these blogs.  Just like with the TV or the radio, you can choose to change the webpage. 
On to the reason why I finally did choose to write this post:  Jenny Trout.  Jenny is an author who uses many forms of social media to promote her writing as well as things she feels strongly about.  Jenny is a very funny lady, queen of snark, outspoken on many different subjects, who isn’t afraid to say what she feels.  She posted photos a few weeks ago of her in her “fatkini” at the beach and wrote a great story to go along with it.  It hit a positive nerve with a lot of people and got quite a bit of attention, she was interviewed by Huffington Post Live as well as Good Morning America.  More recently she posted about the song “All About That Bass” and why she felt the song had problematic content.  Because of it she was interviewed by National Public Radio.  What followed was downright scary.  There were the usual people who didn’t agree with her (which is fine, we’re all entitled to our opinion) but one post that appeared on her Facebook page is probably one of the creepiest things I have ever seen in my life.  The poster starts out ranting and raving about his disagreement with her and ends the post with “if I ever see you in public I’ll make a necklace out of your teeth”.  WHAT?!?!?!  To make matters worse, when Jenny tried to contact Facebook to show them this post, it was next to impossible.  She was a bit freaked out about it and rightfully so.  Threats to one’s safety aren’t to be taking lightly in this day and age, especially when you are any kind of public personality.  And seriously, I can’t believe that someone thought that this was even okay to post, even as a joke.  There were more posts from this person too and it sounds like the ravings of a lunatic.  Interestingly enough, the poster decided to take them down, but not before lots of people had read it and were equally upset and/or shocked.  Jenny was smart enough to do a screen capture of them and has them saved.  I hope she doesn’t ever need it and the poster had crawled back in to the hole he came from.  All of that because she didn't like a song and said why.  Wow.
Last week I was talking with my niece and somehow we got on the topic of the death of someone we both knew.  I was horrified when she told me about a posting that appeared on Facebook.  This friend was handicapped and his death was a direct result of an accident due to his handicap.  Some jerk posted some comments that were completely inappropriate, fortunately many of those who saw it called him on the carpet for his comments.  The sadder part is that this individual does this all the time, I personally know several people who have been victims of his crazy rants, so much so that some of them have actually pressed charges against him.  Yet he keeps doing it.  He doesn't even do it anonymously.  What is wrong with him?!?!
Why does anyone think that this kind of behavior is acceptable?  It isn’t.  I know that I personally will not read the comments section on any of the articles regarding the passing of Robin Williams because I am sure there is some moron out there who will say something completely inappropriate.  It seems like the “edit” button no longer exists on a large portion of the population.  It’s fine to disagree with something, but to attack someone personally, make threats, etc. is just unacceptable.  Whatever happened to “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all”?
In closing, let me just say this:  keep in mind when reading a blog, most of us AREN’T professional writers.  We are doing this for fun.  We have something we want to share with a group of interested people.  This blog started out as something I shared only with friends and family.   If you aren’t interested in what I’m doing or just plain out don’t like me (or others), close the web browser.  I don’t need to deal with your issues and quite frankly, neither does anyone else.  I happen to have a very thick skin after years of working in collections.  I’ve been called a b*tch, a c*nt, threatened with bodily harm-it doesn’t bug me.  But it does bug other people who are perhaps more sensitive.  Think about what you say before you hit that “send”  button.  And if you say something stupid to me, you’d better be prepared to be called out on it.  Or ignored completely.  I’m too old for childish crap.  As I once said to my former psycho-b*tch neighbor-“I don’t care to be a co-star in your melodrama”.  Or as my late sister liked to say: "I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person".  Enough said.


Jen Bortz said...

Yikes! Legacy of "reality" TV? People want to play a villian character. Nice doesn't get attention. Ugh!

Tiffany McKay said...

Best article I have read all week! Loved the humor mixed with the harsh truth! Thanks for commenting on my feature post @ blissful and domestic. I loved your support :)

Flo said...

You know Jen, you have probably hit on something. I remember reading an article a few years ago about high school age kids cheating in school and how most of them thought it was okay and not a big deal. The article sited the fact that they see this kind of behavior all the time on TV, primarily in reality TV. Win at all costs kind of mentality.

Glad you stopped by Tiffany! I enjoyed your post because it really pointed out something that I've believed all along. Good job!

dan said...

There are people who like to be offensive and always have something bad to say...and I really wonder why!!